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April 3, 2004
Gross
So I’m at the game and there’s this guy walking around who obviously thought he was pretty cool. He was wearing a golf shirt that had a zipper instead of the three buttons. Well, he had the zipper undone all the way and there’s this massive tuff of hair sticking out of the opening. Actually, it wasn’t just a tuff of hair, it was like a whole head of hair.
The kind you’d see on an animal. Why doesn’t someone say something to this guy? He must have some friends or family or something. He can’t possibly think that he’s gonna get some chicks with that ‘fro hanging out of his shirt and reaching up to his neck, can he? It’s just damn gross. I don’t want to see anyone’s hair other than what’s on his head and face. Even then, some head and face hair still gross me out. Have you seen those guys who shave their beards like a weird puzzle and it’s kind of growing from the sideburns to the edge of their nose? Any other hair is definitely something you shouldn’t be showing. I don’t want to see chest hair, underarm hair, women’s leg hair, ass hair, or pubic hair hanging out of any clothing that you’re wearing in public. That’s why we differentiate between public and private!

